Adam Gaffney (1987-2012)

I have been so blessed in my life to meet such good people. I do not mean to slight any of you, but Tim and Terri Gaffney are two of the best. So many of my students got to know Terri through our Biloxi trips, and so many knew Tim as the guy who was always grilling when we were learning construction. They are my friends and my proudest moment is when they call me their friend.

Their eldest is named Brian, and he has torn up Coed softball at the Blackthorn league or Tower Grove for five years. We were always better than the older teams, because we could sneak in Brian on our team of oldsters. But he is also a kind kid, and definitely the son of Tim & Terri. He was also a great brother, and you could tell in their interactions how close Adam and Brian are.

Their next is Jesse who jumped into theater and her mother could not have been prouder. Terri has always enjoyed a stage, and anyone who has been to Karaoke with
Terri knows this. Jesse is the best attributes of both parents, and is a super kid
(sorry, Jesse I am old) and a great sister.

If you ever want to see how to be a family or how to love unconditionally, the Gaffney pool is always open, and their hospitality like their popcorn is always fresh
and full of smiles. I am so humbled and honored that this family is in my life, and it all comes down to love. Terri and Tim give love to anyone and attendance at the back pool is people who somehow randomly have come into their life. Why would you not want to spend time with all this love and such loyal friendship.

.....but this is about Adam their youngest, Terri said it tonight, Adam was always the 1 % just a little bit different, but always his own kind, unique person. And always, always loved by his parents. Always accepting, always loving. Adam was at the top of his life, he had a great job, and was on the verge of buying his first house (my old flat, on Bancroft). He was so excited about the process, as he bounced into his mom's office on Thursday.

Here is how I will remember Adam. Last summer, Adam had turned himself into one of the best softball players in the league. He was often asked to sub on several teams and was always ready to help out. But there was one specific play..... There was a close play at second where the umpire called him safe. Adam hopped up, bounded back to his team's bench and told everyone he was out. (reversing the ump's call),... As the other team expressed disbelief, Adam proudly said, "I'm a Gaffney."

There are ways to do things, and there is the Gaffney way..... always do right, always be ready for a laugh, or to offer your house, your pool, or your beer to total strangers. But most of all to love, love your family, love your friends, to love everyone. Adam was proud of that legacy -- his family had created with their kindness and their kinship. And at that moment is how I will remember Adam....

Adam had a stomach ache on Friday and called his mom, and they went to the hospital. Adam would never leave and after five days, he was pronounced dead. Surrounded by a steady stream of family, of friends, and of course, softball players.

As they said in Brian's Song, "All true stories end in death. This is a true story." but this is not the story about how Adam died, but this is the story about how Adam lived.... how he did LIVE... He was a Gaffney ... and I cannot think of a more apropos or more succinct way to describe him then those 4 words....

He was a Gaffney....