I have been so blessed in my life to meet such good people. I do not mean to slight any of you, but Tim and Terri Gaffney are two of the best. So many of my students got to know Terri through our Biloxi trips, and so many knew Tim as the guy who was always grilling when we were learning construction. They are my friends and my proudest moment is when they call me their friend.
Their eldest is named Brian, and he has torn up Coed softball at the Blackthorn league or Tower Grove for five years. We were always better than the older teams, because we could sneak in Brian on our team of oldsters. But he is also a kind kid, and definitely the son of Tim & Terri. He was also a great brother, and you could tell in their interactions how close Adam and Brian are.
Their next is Jesse who jumped into theater and her mother could not have been prouder. Terri has always enjoyed a stage, and anyone who has been to Karaoke with
Terri knows this. Jesse is the best attributes of both parents, and is a super kid
(sorry, Jesse I am old) and a great sister.
If you ever want to see how to be a family or how to love unconditionally, the Gaffney pool is always open, and their hospitality like their popcorn is always fresh
and full of smiles. I am so humbled and honored that this family is in my life, and it all comes down to love. Terri and Tim give love to anyone and attendance at the back pool is people who somehow randomly have come into their life. Why would you not want to spend time with all this love and such loyal friendship.
.....but this is about Adam their youngest, Terri said it tonight, Adam was always the 1 % just a little bit different, but always his own kind, unique person. And always, always loved by his parents. Always accepting, always loving. Adam was at the top of his life, he had a great job, and was on the verge of buying his first house (my old flat, on Bancroft). He was so excited about the process, as he bounced into his mom's office on Thursday.
Here is how I will remember Adam. Last summer, Adam had turned himself into one of the best softball players in the league. He was often asked to sub on several teams and was always ready to help out. But there was one specific play..... There was a close play at second where the umpire called him safe. Adam hopped up, bounded back to his team's bench and told everyone he was out. (reversing the ump's call),... As the other team expressed disbelief, Adam proudly said, "I'm a Gaffney."
There are ways to do things, and there is the Gaffney way..... always do right, always be ready for a laugh, or to offer your house, your pool, or your beer to total strangers. But most of all to love, love your family, love your friends, to love everyone. Adam was proud of that legacy -- his family had created with their kindness and their kinship. And at that moment is how I will remember Adam....
Adam had a stomach ache on Friday and called his mom, and they went to the hospital. Adam would never leave and after five days, he was pronounced dead. Surrounded by a steady stream of family, of friends, and of course, softball players.
As they said in Brian's Song, "All true stories end in death. This is a true story." but this is not the story about how Adam died, but this is the story about how Adam lived.... how he did LIVE... He was a Gaffney ... and I cannot think of a more apropos or more succinct way to describe him then those 4 words....
He was a Gaffney....
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Packing List 2012
Clothes (quantity of items should last for a week)
• T-shirts* (5 for working, plus more for after showers)
• Gym shorts
• Underwear/Bras/Socks
• Nice skirt/top for Church (we will be attending two services)
• Biloxi Shirt
• Tennis Shoes
• Flip-flops for showering
• Pajamas
• Hat/headbands
(Pack tshirts/shorts/shoes for working that you don’t care about possibly ruining)
Toiletries
• Shampoo/Conditioner
• Face Wash/Moisturizer
• Body Wash
• Towels (1 for shower, 1 for beach)
• Deodorant
• Toothbrush/Toothpaste
• Hairbrush/Ponytail holders
• Razor/shaving cream
• Sunscreen
Other Items
• Bedsheets for a twin bed
• Pillow
• Small Blanket
• Trash Bag for Laundry
• Water Bottle
• Journal
• Chargers for any electronic appliances
• Camera
• Money for meals on car rides and church collections
Beneficial but not Crucial Items (if you already have these, don’t go out and buy them)
• Hammer
• Tool Belt with Nail belt on it
• Overalls/jeans for working
• Powertools
• Work Boots
*It’s easy to buy a pack of white vnecks and just wear a new one every day (and it saves space). Sometimes you throw away the shirts they’re so dirty—so vnecks are nice!
SAVING SPACE IS KEY!!! Try to fit everything in a duffle bag. YES. It can be done!
• T-shirts* (5 for working, plus more for after showers)
• Gym shorts
• Underwear/Bras/Socks
• Nice skirt/top for Church (we will be attending two services)
• Biloxi Shirt
• Tennis Shoes
• Flip-flops for showering
• Pajamas
• Hat/headbands
(Pack tshirts/shorts/shoes for working that you don’t care about possibly ruining)
Toiletries
• Shampoo/Conditioner
• Face Wash/Moisturizer
• Body Wash
• Towels (1 for shower, 1 for beach)
• Deodorant
• Toothbrush/Toothpaste
• Hairbrush/Ponytail holders
• Razor/shaving cream
• Sunscreen
Other Items
• Bedsheets for a twin bed
• Pillow
• Small Blanket
• Trash Bag for Laundry
• Water Bottle
• Journal
• Chargers for any electronic appliances
• Camera
• Money for meals on car rides and church collections
Beneficial but not Crucial Items (if you already have these, don’t go out and buy them)
• Hammer
• Tool Belt with Nail belt on it
• Overalls/jeans for working
• Powertools
• Work Boots
*It’s easy to buy a pack of white vnecks and just wear a new one every day (and it saves space). Sometimes you throw away the shirts they’re so dirty—so vnecks are nice!
SAVING SPACE IS KEY!!! Try to fit everything in a duffle bag. YES. It can be done!
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Important Information!!
History: Mary Bryant, Nerinx Hall 1992, was working towards a ministry in her faith when she took an opportunity to volunteer with the Back Bay Ministry in Biloxi, MS. Mary was a bright and energetic presence to all of the people of the back bay. Tragically, she was killed in a car accident while visiting St. Louis. We learned at her funeral that it was her dream to have an all woman work crew to come down to Biloxi. In the spring of 2006, a group of 21 students, 6 parents, and 3 teachers made their way to Biloxi to start this trip. This was just months after Hurricane Katrina hit the Gulf Coast. Each year the trip has grown, and has provided an introduction to a lifetime of service to 315 Nerinx students. These students along with over 100 parents and teachers have made this trip a real part of their lives. Share Kindness—St. Louis was started to keep this legacy of service. This is the kinship that we are welcoming your daughter into… it is also in a very real way the dream of Mary Bryant.
When: We will leave Saturday morning June 2nd. There will be a short prayer service for all parents, students, and alumni of this trip before we depart. We usually arrive home before 8 p.m. on the following Saturday June 9th.
Cost: The trip costs is projected to cost $350 for each student participant. This is the same cost as the original trip and we work very hard to keep this trip affordable to all. If there are problems, some financial aid is available.
Additional cost: Students will be responsible for 2 or 3 meals in transport. We expect each student will spend less than $50 during this week.
Date of Payment: Checks will be accepted in March. Please make payment to Terri Gaffney, and mail to Terri Gaffney, 420 Bradford, Saint Louis, MO 63119.
What to bring: A packing list will be provided to students during a construction workshop. Digital cameras are necessary to document the trip for some, but ALL OTHER EXPENSIVE ELECTRONICS ARE DISCOURAGED.
Transport: Your daughter will ride down to Jackson, and then on to Biloxi, and then home from Biloxi in the same car driven by a parent or a teacher. You will be given that information before departure.
Any questions: Your number one resource for information is the Senior that has been named to be a veteran guide to your daughter. John Magee can also be contacted at (314) 503-0147…anytime…I am not kidding about that.
When: We will leave Saturday morning June 2nd. There will be a short prayer service for all parents, students, and alumni of this trip before we depart. We usually arrive home before 8 p.m. on the following Saturday June 9th.
Cost: The trip costs is projected to cost $350 for each student participant. This is the same cost as the original trip and we work very hard to keep this trip affordable to all. If there are problems, some financial aid is available.
Additional cost: Students will be responsible for 2 or 3 meals in transport. We expect each student will spend less than $50 during this week.
Date of Payment: Checks will be accepted in March. Please make payment to Terri Gaffney, and mail to Terri Gaffney, 420 Bradford, Saint Louis, MO 63119.
What to bring: A packing list will be provided to students during a construction workshop. Digital cameras are necessary to document the trip for some, but ALL OTHER EXPENSIVE ELECTRONICS ARE DISCOURAGED.
Transport: Your daughter will ride down to Jackson, and then on to Biloxi, and then home from Biloxi in the same car driven by a parent or a teacher. You will be given that information before departure.
Any questions: Your number one resource for information is the Senior that has been named to be a veteran guide to your daughter. John Magee can also be contacted at (314) 503-0147…anytime…I am not kidding about that.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Latest News
1) Due to Communication problems.... All material sent out or talked about at meetings will be repeated here.
If you are interested in going, you should be contacted by a Nerinx Senior.
If no one has contacted you, please email johnmagee412@yahoo.com or call him at
(314) 503-0147
A check of $350 made payable to Terri Gaffney should be mailed to 420 Bradford, 63119
by the 28th.
If you have been on this trip, please contact John Magee.
If you are interested in going, you should be contacted by a Nerinx Senior.
If no one has contacted you, please email johnmagee412@yahoo.com or call him at
(314) 503-0147
A check of $350 made payable to Terri Gaffney should be mailed to 420 Bradford, 63119
by the 28th.
If you have been on this trip, please contact John Magee.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Meeting Tonight===Mar 6th at the Edge
John Magee's phone number is (314) 503-0147
his email is johnmagee412@yahoo.com
Due to some communication problems for the Mar. 6th meeting.... every form of communication will be on this blog.
Make Check for $350 per student to Terri Gaffney, 420 Bradford,
Saint Louis, MO 63119
Dates for the trip are June 02-- June 09
A Packing list will be up here before March 15th....
"“The measure of your compassion lies not in your service of those on the margins, but in your willingness to see yourselves in kinship with them, connected to them – to move beyond the service of the other, to a solidarity, where your heart is in the right place – and, now finally, to a place of kinship, where your feet are in the right place.” Father Gregory Boyle
his email is johnmagee412@yahoo.com
Due to some communication problems for the Mar. 6th meeting.... every form of communication will be on this blog.
Make Check for $350 per student to Terri Gaffney, 420 Bradford,
Saint Louis, MO 63119
Dates for the trip are June 02-- June 09
A Packing list will be up here before March 15th....
"“The measure of your compassion lies not in your service of those on the margins, but in your willingness to see yourselves in kinship with them, connected to them – to move beyond the service of the other, to a solidarity, where your heart is in the right place – and, now finally, to a place of kinship, where your feet are in the right place.” Father Gregory Boyle
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